How to help children through Divorce

J. Iandolo Law, P.C.

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How To Help Children Through Divorce

Divorce Help – How To Divorce Your Wife and Keep Your Pants!

First of all, let me just say that I understand that a divorce is never easy, I have been trough it myself and it was the worst time in my life. However, you can’t let your emotions get the better of you in a divorce. I am sure you have heard the horror stories. A man gets divorced and loses everything, children, house, the car and half your worth. Do not become one of these guys! A divorce does not have to mean losing everything.

Hiring an Attorney

Hiring an attorney can be good for divorce help, but it won’t guarantee you a good outcome. Many divorce lawyers couldn’t honestly care less about you and your personal situation, they get paid anyway. It’s still a good idea to consult with an attorney, but it’s a bad idea to let him or her run the entire case with you on the sidelines. If you want to hire an attorney then you should already know what you plan to do and what your strategy is.

Custody Issues

Custody issues are often the hardest part of a divorce. Unfortunately, the American legal system is heavily skewed towards granting women custody of children. The judge is supposed to grant custody to the parent which the children would be best off with. In reality though, many judges just give custody to the woman. Here’s the thing; You can do something about it. There are several ways to get custody of your children. Anything that can show your stability and strong points should be shown to the court. Emails, personal testimony. Of course there are other methods you can use, that are not so nice. I won’t go into those here, but if you really want custody, then you should consider them. I deal with them on the page that I link to in the bottom of this article.

How Much Does a Divorce Cost?

The total cost of a divorce depends heavily on the outcome, but also on the process. An attorney will cost you, missed days at work due to court appearances will cost you. You have to factor in everything. The best way to minimize the cost of a divorce is simply making sure you are not being taken to the cleaners by your wife. Understand this: In a divorce case, your wife's lawyer will encourage her to get everything she can from you. It’s very important that you realize this. You can’t be the only one playing fair.

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Frequently Asked Questions

1. QUESTION:
   How to help children through divorce?
   I am on the stage of planning a divorce. I need some advice if ever I get a divorce how will I help my children understand about the divorce.
   Thanks
• ANSWER:
  One of the hardest parts of a divorce when children are involved is trying to explain the entire process to them. While explaining as much as possible is generally a good idea, in terms of divorce it can actually be a very bad idea.
  For example, you should never explain to your children especially young children that you are divorcing because your spouse cheated on you or was abusive. This can lead to problems between the parent and child, as well as could even cause problems in your own relationship with the child. While it may seem dishonest to not tell your child all of the details, it is not. You are simply avoiding telling the children all of the details. There is no reason for your child to know all of the details.
  Especially important to avoid discussing with your child is the details of the child support order. Children do not need to feel as if they are being purchased by the payment of child support, they should also not be aware of missed payments because they could begin to feel resentment towards the other parent. In talking to your children about divorce, often less information is usually better. Even in families where there is generally very open discussion about issues, keeping some information from the children is usually better
  
  PLEASE LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS AND I WILL GET BACK TO YOU SHORTLY, or call for a free consultation, at 269.312.9747

Divorce - property division, spousal support, retirement, and inheritance

PROPERTY DIVISION IN GENERAL 

A divorce can be extremely dirty. Parties may try to hide assets or even sell them off in a fraudulent manner. The pivotal questions are what is yours and how much?  In Michigan, property is divided equitably.  Is that 50-50? Not quite.  The court will look at many factors in determining what you are entitled to.  And fault is not one of the many factors heavily weighed. Rather, what the parties have contributed to the marriage is considered. And yes,  house-work is considered a huge contribution.  I addition, the length of the marriage, the parties respective ages,  and their health is considered.  Although, this is not an exhaustive list, you get the idea.

SPOUSAL SUPPORT

As far as spousal support goes, it is not considered an obligation like child support. Along with the considerations in property division, the court factors in: the length of the marriage, your spouse's ability to work, what the market for that trade, etc. Spousal support is paid in two different ways - in a lump sum or over time. Courts also tend to grant rehabilitative support more often than not. This type of support allows for the underprivileged spouse to get back to a good earning capacity.

IS YOUR SPOUSE ENTITLED TO YOUR RETIREMENT?

The short answer is maybe.  You may be able to negotiate a way to keep your retirement for yourself if used as a bargaining chip. Therefore, to keep your hard earned retirement, some counseling is needed. Call the offices of J. Iandolo Law, P.C. at 269-312-9747 to discuss your options.

INHERITANCE

Again, it depends. It depends on the circumstances. In most situations, an inheritance is free from property division unless it was co-mingled into the marital estate.  What does co-mingled mean? Did you use that money to enhance the marital lifestyle? Can that money be traced? You should contact an attorney to ascertain and protect your rights.

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How do I keep custody of my child in a divorce in Michigan.

J. Iandolo Law, PC

Even though you may think that a divorce may be simple, it can become complicated when children are involved. As a family law attorney in Southwest Michigan, I have had many clients come into my office and say: "this is easy, we are on good terms."  My response is not so simple. My firm walks a fine line to be as amicable with the other party as possible. In the end, the court usually decides who has parenting time, legal and physical custody.

Many parents do not understand the difference between legal and physical custody. They are not the same.
Legal: the parent that makes important decisions regarding the child: education, religious practices, medical, and other health-care issues.
Physical: the parent with whom the child will live.


When determining custody, the court considers 12 factors called the "best interest factors." Each factor is looked at independently, and each needs to be competently argued.  These factors include: the mental health of the parents, the family unit, the child's current lifestyle, and any abuse issues, etc.

Parenting time is different than custody. This is time that the non-custodial parent will get with the child.  The court almost always ensures that the non-custodial parent has parenting rights to their child. The courts want to foster a parent-child relationship if possible.  This being said, sometimes the court will find extraordinary reasons not to grant parenting time, or impose some restrictions.

The court follows a manual when determining parenting time. This usually allows for overnights on the weekend, and one day after school. But this can be modified if the parents can agree.

Lastly, the time that a parent has custody of the child will only be one factor in the amount of child support awarded. Remember that child support is an "obligation" owed to your child.

Jeremy Iandolo, Esq
iandololaw.com
iandololaw@gmail.com